as if… in the first place

i heard arthur, standin small, and cool hand luke last night (and tonight!) keith played with them, which was AWESOME. i think it hit me while standin small was playing - seeing all their instruments and talents coming together to make this *one thing* happen. and not just to happen, but happen beautifully! its one of the most amazing things to me! i don’t really know how to expand on that, i just love the way it happens. i love how no one thing is ever complete on its own, its always a combination of things… making that one thing. the bassist for standing small is a lot of fun, and the bassist for cool hand luke is NUTS and he’s one of my new favorite people in the world!! i wish i could just carry him around with me, i think if everybody had a little bit of him around the world would be a little brighter

i want there to be depth in me. i’ve felt very much like i’ve just been skimming the surface of life lately. i’ve been listening to arthurs cd for the past… hour -ish? maybe not that long, but linger on is definately a favorite. i want a slow life, one that soaks up the richness around it, just just leaving it behind, like…. i want to get dusty!!!! be somewhere long enough to collect it all. and not just be physically, but spiritually in a place long enough that i soak it all up. i havn’et had a lot of consistancy lately as far as that goes… and thats totally my doing.

i was at camp last weekend and i didn’t get to stay long because my kidney decided to… errupt, but in the short time i was there i was reminded of the richness of relationships that exists there… and i want that. i want time invested, not just always “flailing” for the next thing. i like that, i like having stuff to do and people to see, but i like that quiet time too, where the trees stand still and the clouds float right on by. that rich time… the solid time. i haven’t had much of that. i used to recognize it when i needed it and take that lindsay time… i guess i had so much of it last year i’ve been spending this one filling it up. i was reminded of my need for it today by keith. hearing him express his appreciation for it reminded me i needed to be doing some appreciating - the gathering of the thoughts… and the soaking of the word. it was very nice… very nice indeed…